I'm re-reading this book. ZigZag, to be exact. I can across a line that just totally rang true: one of the hardest things about growing up is finding out that there's just somethings you're not going to be good at. Well, that's not verbatum, but you get the picture. I'm doing something right now that I want so badly, but I don't think I'm all that great at it, no matter how hard I try.

I've been told that I have a very good chance for success, but that's not really their decision. It's the decision of my nerves and if I can make it through the audition process. If not, I'm pretty much nothing next year. I'll still have the words and I'll still have the pen, but I won't be doing anything. Turning 17 this month, I've realized that I've been so eager to grow up that I haven't really lived. Deja vu just hit...

'Tis a writer's double edge sword, I suppose! We're such loners and we accept that, but at some points, we do want to interact. It's not that we're not sociable, no, it's quite the opposite. It's just hard to fit into a puzzle if you're a piece that's from an entirely different puzzle. The configurations are all wrong. That's me at some points.

Not 100% sad because I know that somewhere, there's a puzzle and I'm its missing piece. *Sigh* I should quit while I'm ahead. But, then again, quitting while ahead is still the same as quitting; eventually you will be passed.

Still Undiscovered,

The Undiscovered Writer

I don't think. Life's to hard for that. I want to be a somebody. I deserve to be a somebody. When will it be my turn? When will I get to say "Hey, I made it." You know, if this town ever gave me anything, it's that life only gives one shot at greatness. People living in big cities, there's more to do, but in small town, I realize that there's nothing else to do. It's either this, or be miserable. That's the difference in the upbriging.

I've sumitted Penpals of the Past. I'm nervous. The deadline isn't until Friday, and it's been raining like hell so I hope my manuscript didn't get soaked, but I just want to know. Whose is the best? I have to know. It's getting down to the wire, and I'm more and more tired. Of waiting. I need it now. I want it all. There's big stars in my eyes, but I'll be an even bigger star than them combined. This is what happens when you suck at school and escape to a word of vampires to die for. I want to create characters like that.

The chances are slim, even with Kancis it has a good feel. Like it won't take long. Why does it take writes two, three years to write a novel, when I can write one in two, three months? And the quality's the same. They've been given chances, and I'm stuggling to take one. I'm a thief. In the immortal words of Pete, "Sometimes we take chances, sometimes we take pills." I want to take so great a chance and it have such great awards that I don't want to need the pills.

That's my life. I live it.

So, to everyone at my school...Look out. This is where I'm headin'. Be nice to be today and I might drop your name along the way.

Where will you be in twenty years? Will it be where you want to be?

Still...Still...But not standing still,

The Undiscovered Writer

Time to breath some life into this journal...and talk about 2008. Well, I've been having trouble posting stuff, in case you haven't noticed. That's okay, though, because my mind's been growing and actively learning the past few weeks. I discovered a series: Twilight, New Moon, and Eclipse. Amazing stories. Currently, thanks to Twilight, I'm reading Wuthering Heights.

On the writing front, I'm currently still in the typing process for Penpals of the Past and I'm over halfway done. I'm entering it into a contest and I have good feelings about it. Seriously. I'm also writing the second novel of the series, and a story that I can't even describe yet. In other news, I just stumbled across a new story idea. It'll be called Asylum and take place over one hundred years ago.

Of course, the music is going good, too. My zine is much better than I imagined. Love it. It doesn't take up a lot of my time and already I'm psyched for Warped. Imagine the interviewing possibilities! Ooohh!

So, armed with some Motion City Soundtrack tunes, a new pair of glasses, and a vocabulary that includes 'ostentatious,' I'm taking over. Don't doubt it. Just accept it.

Working on getting rid of the un-,

Stetching my fingers over the keyboard because I can't play piano keys and stretching is good. This is only a test. Life is only a test. And while I once was passing that class with only five points, I'm averaging at a C, but what's so good about being average? Let the words flow.

I can sing what can't be sung and I can do what can't be done. It's the basis for every success. My time is coming and the only thing I'm armed with is a few clever phrases and one heck of a playlist. But that's okay 'cause I was taught in an arms race, arm yourself with such. This is how we make it. This is how we take it. This is how we fake it.

I can look back at this moment and ask it if it will be my memory. It'll send me letters and ask me how I've been. How I've changed.

I never let those close to me see my work. That would be too difficult. But...I've never been one to take the easy way out. I don't live like that.

I think I'm ready for something more.

It's near my grasp and I just have to take it.

I'll make myself a legend.

~The Undiscovered Writer